– Then there are the* hoards of children’s books.
– There is the frailest order here. (the use of the word ‘but’ makes no sense).- There is almost too much choice. (You use the word as a noun, and usually it is accompanied by the word ‘of’, not used simply by itself, OR, it should be preceded with the word ‘of’). It is also, normally, not specifically measured, but described. Thus, “”too much” of choice” is incorrect. What sounds better is “The choice is almost unnerving, or – “The choice is vast” 
– The word “imminent” indicates “forthcoming”. Your use of it is absolutely incorrect in this context.All in all, this piece was just average.